I marinate in a stew of “busy,”
a star of importance pinned on my lapel.
This is the “success” culture sells, is it not?
The one who is stretched thinnest, wins —
The ease for me comes in making my exterior shine while I take on the world.
As Ru Paul says, “We’re all born naked and the rest is drag.”
So, who will I show up as?
The pages of Cosmopolitan taught this awkward teen to appear en vogue.
Add some eye liner, rouge and a fuchsia scarf —
mere basics for one who dabbles with color all day.
By now, I know well how to hide my precious self in a garb of beauty
amid a sea of activity. Most women do.
(The honest ones will tell you.)
At age forty, no outfit nor lipstick covers me from me.
All the hustle unravels. I’m in crisis mode.
I hover in the status quo of comfort —
I sit in meetings.
I lead things I’m committed to.
I smile polite. Still,
in-dwelling Spirit stirs.
I can’t deny my essence of being is on strike.
My intuitive antennae knows something is off.
There is a depth that awaits my presence beyond “busy”.
While my mind keeps toiling, my heart and gut lead me to the sofa.
I get still. Very still.
In the silence, I aim to pay attention for God.
Not much happens.
My mind wanders, I come back to my breath.
Yah (inhale) Weh (exhale)
Next day. I find myself on the sofa again. Still.
This nothing changes everything.
God receives me right there in my state of nothingness.
How does God love me if I’m not serving,
being good, gaining stars for my lapel?
Because God is God.
The scales on my eyes peel fierce
to the way I’ve been living and the exterior structures (work, family, church)
that maintain a non-stop rhythm.
As I shed, this is what my soul knows:
God desires communion. I need to find this place of communion.
I leap off the hamster wheel in a blaze of flailing glory.
It’s not pretty.
I speak about my experience with ineloquent words.
Resistance boomerangs at me.
I say “No” again and again to endeavors extended.
Denying people isn’t easy.
My volunteering wanes to zero.
My ego doesn’t want to give it up.
I’m urged to stay.
There is no easy way for me to leave.
I walk out the door anyway.
People seem afraid of my truth.
I lose connection with community.
Silence swiftly greets me.
Still, I am compelled to honor where I feel the call of God.
Because God loves me in my nothingness, my pursuit of the Divine grows.
The leap to the unknown
is dark for quite some time.
I’m sad. I cry.
I desire activity while I curse activity.
I wander aimlessly.
I wonder if God hears me
while angels on my path
listen to my confession.
Trust is tested. I lean into the edge.
An invitation arrives. A door opens.
To paint with intention.
My heart leaps. My skin sizzles.
I say “Yes” to the mysterious adventure.
I steep myself in paint.
I begin anew.
Here, in this place of BEing,
I find communion with the Creator of my Soul.
A fresh vision is created where words fail.
I hear from inner Wisdom words of poetry and love.
I learn to trust the Mystery of stillness.
I become the artsy pilgrim who
moves toward the center with lines of love.
The act of creating is my prayer. The strokes are my mindful gait.
The more I show up to the path, the greater revelation occurs.
I keep on.
The pilgrimage is rich.
My roots grow deeper, my branches longer.
I know of communion with the Divine
where time stretches and treasure awaits.
Now, I return to tell others of this incredible feast.
There is a feast! A feast!
A place where you can come
as you are (no makeup or high heels required).
In this place,
the Divine awaits your presence,
with anticipated patience to gaze upon your face
and say, “I love you.”
All you have to do is gaze back.
Will you come?
Please say “Yes!”
Art of “BE”: A Celebration of Rest
October 12th • 10am – 5pm
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?” – Matthew 11:28 MSG
Is your spiritual verve drained a bit? Are you struggling to experience the Holy in your midst in a weekly institutional setting? Do you have an innate sense there is “more” to the Sacred than partaking in activities but are too busy to honor your knowing? Come experience a different way to dance with the Divine. Together, we’ll have a day to rest and BE. Here, we’ll honor all voices who are present. Here, we’ll include creativity as a way to listen for the In-dwelling Spirit. Here, we’ll give permission for soulful rest as a needed element of life. Here, we’ll discover the vast nature of worship beyond walls.
The Art of “Be”: A Celebration of Rest, a 13-step Intentional Creativity® workshop, is designed to give women time to rest and dwell upon the importance of BEing for their life. Each participant will experience a time to share in community as well as quiet space to paint, write and explore their inner stirrings. Guided visualization will be used to connect each person with their Muse of “BE”ing as well as symbols that represent their unique story. No painting experience required, just a willing heart!
October 12th • 10am – 5pm
$105 covers all materials, lunch and preparation of love
Save 20% with code 20OFF